I realized I was in a Midlife Crisis at 52 years old. This seems a bit late from my research but after much reflection I feel I’ve been in a long, drawn out crisis for a while now.
Yet with a major life overhaul and a change in mindset, I can truly say I’m free of this terrible dark cloud that has been looming for a decade.
Table of Contents
Reflecting on My Midlife Crisis
I Thought It Was the Divorce
Let’s go back a decade, before the end of my midlife crisis, when I didn’t know I was in a crisis.
My divorce was final in 2015, I was 43 and ready to restart life – just me, my teen kids and my dog. At that time I truly believed I was past the whole “crisis thing“.
In my late 30s I felt the classic symptoms of a midlife crisis -dissatisfaction with my life, questioning my purpose, a strong desire for a life change and even a few body image issues related to getting older. But I brushed all that off to the fact that I was getting a divorce and that was the factor for my angst.
The years after my divorce I was laser focused on succeeded to live life my way. I landed a great job at a start-up and eventually lived as a nomad in my RV after becoming an empty-nester and selling my home.
Life was grand in my late 40s. BUT WAS IT?
In the back of my mind I always had this nagging belief that I was simply avoiding growing up and taking responsibility.
Then I met him.
My Crisis Only Worsened
At 49 I met a man that was fun, maybe too fun. He refused to take responsibility in life for his finances or personal relationships he destroyed. I ignored all this so I could have fun. And it would cost me dearly.
Over the next 4 years he managed to convince me that I too didn’t need responsibility. I ended up broke and almost lost some of my loved ones.
I don’t blame him, I’m a grown adult that let him in to my life.
During these last 4 years with him I showed even more classic signs of being in a midlife crisis like not wanting to take responsibility, at times I was depressed with who I was in life and I became nostalgic for the younger me (that he encouraged me to be.)
I know now that I never truly grew up.
Because of this I now live with my mom, I’m broke and been building my life physiologically and financially from scratch.
But I’m no longer in a Midlife Crisis.
What It Feels Like To Be in a Midlife Crisis
The Beginning of the End of My Midlife Crisis
Just 3 months ago he literally dumped me on my mom’s front porch with a couple of boxes of my belongings.
This is not a good look for a 52 year old woman who has a bachelor’s degree, two adult children, helped run a profitable business with her former husband, owned a home, paid a mortgage and, well, you get the picture.
MUST READ : Dealing with My MIDLIFE CRISIS in My 50s
I was depressed, hopeless, unsure of my future, angry at him and myself, I had gained 30 pounds in the last year, had no job or income and now living with my mom.
In that June moment I know I hit the worst low I’ve hit, in every aspect of my life.
I also know I WILL NEVER BE THERE AGAIN.
How I Got Out of My Midlife Crisis
Putting on My Big Girl Pants
For the next 3 months I literally did a deep dive into my life and why the hell I was here and how did I get this low.
This was when I discovered I had been going through a Midlife Crisis for a decade or more. It was time to grow up, accept facts, get out of the crisis and move on.
My Steps to Breaking Free at 52
At first I took small steps to work on succeeding at anything, things I knew I could do easily like riding my bike or eating more veggies. This gave me confidence and dopamine to begin exploring what steps I could take financially to lift myself out of financial ruin.
I started eating better so I could mentally and physically feel better about myself.
I began making YouTube Videos again and writing here in my blog. This has given me the confidence to create a resume to find a job again.
Then I decided to be kind to myself. This is something I never did before. I was always so hard on myself and focused on my failures. This time I looked at the successes, even if they were small.
Then I got a big break! My friend Steph invited me to stay with her for a few weeks in Colorado to hike.
And I can’t leave out the fact that my mom and her husband have given me a place to stay while I rebuild my life. It was difficult to lean on friends and family as I hit rock bottom but I’m glad they are there.
Books that Can Help Get You Out of Your MLC
- Life Reimagined: The Science, Art, and Opportunity of Midlife https://amzn.to/3TYGy8T
- Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up https://amzn.to/3TwrRcU
- Shine On: How To Grow Awesome Instead of Old (It’s Never Too Late to Shine On) https://amzn.to/3znOObi
- You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life https://amzn.to/47unmoZ
What It Feels Like To End Your Midlife Crisis
I’m still not financially stable and will always want to work on being a better Allie but I gotta say being out of the Midlife Crisis feels like true freedom.
My thoughts are clear and focused on what I want and need. I’m content with my life and proud of who I’m becoming. I’m calm in spirit, mind and body with an optimism for my future. I accept where I am in life at 52 and have no issues with growing older.
It’s like seeing the world through a different lens, one unobscured by distractions of doubt.
Watch the Moment When I Realized I Was at the End of My Midlife Crisis
Thank You for Stopping By!
I’m Allie. At 48 I set out solo to live in my RV. That journey is on hold but my passions for hiking and living well in my 50s still live on! Join me below for more inspiration and adventures. We’re older but even stronger!
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